July 27, 2010
Baseball Hall of Fame, Cooperstown
I should preface this by stating that I have never played a game of baseball.
No, not even an inning.
I don’t recall ever playing a game of catch with my dad. Now don’t assume I was neglected, but rather my family’s “All-American” summer past time involved a tipi and black powder, but that’s another story.
I have played maybe ten games of softball, all of which were during my elementary school days; since then I have probably been in a batting cage twice. I have never felt this was a void in my life, or that my sporting experience has been lacking. I enjoy going to the the park, be it Citizens Bank, Turner, or Camden Yards, and spending a summer evening eating sunflower seeds and yelling “hey batter-batter,” but I will not spend more than 1 minute watching the sport on a TV. I do not really have a team, but I love my city, and enjoyed hugging strangers on Broad St. after the World Series win much more than I enjoyed the game.
With all this in mind, I veered off course and headed for Cooperstown.
It’s a quaint little town, well groomed and well keeping of the theme of the place. As I walked toward the front door, a young employee opened the door for me and smiled. Inside another young employee smiled, and showed me toward the ticket counter. The man at the counter took my money, handed me a map, and smiled.
What I found inside was unlike anything I have seen before. It was amazing.
Why amazing? Because inside was America as we hope it is.
There were jerseys from players whose names we all know; Babe Ruth, DiMaggio, Hank Aaron. There were seats from ballparks long gone and memorials to players and events. Here was a game documented and celebrated from its birth down to the present. There were artifacts with information to give context to what you were looking at, presented in a style that brought it to life.
I loved looking at photos of fans in ties and hats, teams that no longer exist, and trophies won before any of us were born. I liked the handle bar mustaches, the knickerbockers, and the stories.
But none of this is why I call it amazing.
I cannot recall being in a place where everyone there was so excited to be there… except possibly Broad St. after the Phil’s won.
I have surely been to no other museum where the patrons were so enthralled by what they saw or read. I watched a grey haired man with a Red Sox hat and khaki shorts, happily arguing with a mohawked and pierced young man who was wearing an Oriels jersey, as they were both hunched over a list of statistics.
I saw families all dressed in matching jerseys, all doing the same activity, and all enjoying it.
Generation gaps were closed, people dissagreed agreeably, and lambs layed down with lions.
If you think the Utopia I have described is as fictional as the Field of Dreams, consider I almost bought a mitt from the gift shop. What would I do with a mitt? Play baseball?
My experience with sport has always been participant first, then when ability or opportunity render me unable, I become a follower. Cooperstown has nearly made me a fan.
Now I doubt I will start tuning in my television, nor will I join the beefy and sleevless guys on the weekend beer league, but I will claim to be a fan of baseball. I am a fan of what it represents in Americana. I am a fan of anything that gets a father and son happily on the same page. I am a fan of summer, and mostly, I am a fan of a museum that would enshrine Barry Bond’s record smashing home run ball with the asterik carved by the fan who caught it, prominantly displayed.
July 21, 2010
Brohammas Invades Canada and is Repulsed.
Alright, I admit I have made a few jokes about our friends up north. None too harsh, but yes, I laughed audibly when Homer Simpson called Canada “America Jr.” A Canadian friend of mine once lamented that Americans (he bristled that we claimed that title) knew nothing of Canadian government while every Canadian knows who the founding fathers of the U.S. were, as well as who the sitting President of the U.S. is at any given time. I looked at him and with a straight face simply said, “yeah? You realize there is a reason for that right?”
He didn’t like my answer.
Turns out a lot of Canadians don’t like my answers.
After spending some time with friends in St. Alban Vermont, I decided to take advantage of my proximity, as well as schedule flexibility, and head up to Montreal to see what all the fuss is about. I was actually getting a bit excited as I pushed northward with echos of “It’s a lot like New York” ringing in my head.
I had my passport in hand when the guy with the bullet proof vest and walrus mustache said “bonjour”. He asked questions, asked me to step out of the vehicle, and asked me to open all the doors.
I expected to have my things rifled through a bit as I drive a vehicle that all my family and associates find suspect. After finding no missing children inside, I was sent to the desk to talk to the DMV lady. She uninterestedly stamped my form and gave me a slip with the code to the gate that would send me on my way to a French speaking adventure.
Mr. Walrus met me at the gate. He explained that Montreal was a great place and I would love it; but only after I went back to the States and unloaded my van. He was unimpressed with my not having anywhere to leave my cargo and simply waived me toward the U.S. checkpoint.
The U.S. border agent told me I wasn’t missing anything in Montreal. He also told me that those denied entry are supposed to get a little pink slip. I wasn’t.
Inside, at another desk, an agent was asking a large man with no socks when exactly it was he went to Cuba, and why did none of those cigars have bands on them. The agent at my desk just handed me my papers and said, “they think you were headed there to work, not play.”
So essentially, in an attempt to avoid work and go play, I was suspected of being on my way to work, was turned away, and consequentially had no choice but go work instead of play.
None of the border guards got my Yossarian reference.
July 20, 2010
My Two Bits on Ticonderoga
One joy of traveling sans-family is the ability to visit as many forts and historical sites as I please without enduring the whine and pleading of little people. I say this not because my little people have complained but because I complained when I was myself a little people; and because my wife would complain were I to attempt to drag her to the fifth fort in as many months. “Aw Dad, not another fort”, was a favorite of my little sisters, while I was partial to, “Dad, this deer looks just like the last five. Why are we pulling over?”
Ticonderoga is all about cannons. Lots of cannons. Of course before it was called Ticonderoga it was called Carillon, and back then it was about tomahawks.
Carillon was built by the French around 1754. In those days the French and English were fighting over pretty much everything. These European guys fought each other in Europe, on the Atlantic, and in America. At the same time the Iroquois, Huron, and Algonquins were fighting each other in the same place… minus Europe and the Atlantic. Just to make things a bit more interesting, a large portion of the Englishmen here weren’t really Englishmen, they were Scottish Highlanders. The English had just got done fighting the pesky Highlanders back home, won, and decided to round them up and ship them to America where they could fight to their wild hearts content.
The French and Indian War while largely neglected by bored American school kids, is the perfect storm of historical conflicts. It had swords, muskets, cannons, tomahawks, bows and arrows, kilts, breach cloths, horses, ships, feathers, banners, bagpipes, and wilderness adventure.
If we look past that war and just look at the place we can include, spies, traitors, and heros.
Benedict Arnold once captured this fort when he was fighting for the Americans. Word is, he didn’t get as much credit as he thought he should have thanks to that upstaging Ethan Allen, and harbored a grudge, eventually leading to his turning coats. Of course they captured the fort not to control the lake but to get the cannons.
Having captured the cannons, the Americans had Henry Knox haul these cannons through the middle of nowhere in winter to Boston. Knox and his Ticonderoga cannons forced the Brits to get outa Beantown.
The Fort itself is quite impressive. High stone walls, lots of fire power, and a deep ditch make the outpost seem impregnable. Turns out it was quite an easy place to capture. One could simply sneak in the doors when the guard didn’t know you were coming as Ethan Allen did, or as the Brits did twice, simply put some big guns up on Mount Defiance where you can rain shells down inside the fort at your pleasure.
Those days are over. The United States no longer feels a need to defend itself from the Canadians, we now only fight against British oil companies, and the regiments of the Black Watch are replaced by tourists.
After the locale lost its military relevance, it was sold to Columbia University. They tired of the property and sold it to some rich guy who wanted to build a summer home on the lake. Down the hill from the walls the home still stands surrounded by beautiful gardens.
The fort is still privately owned but open to the public. I walked through the barracks, which is now a museum, and looked over the largest collection of powder horns I have ever seen. I saw sabers, muskets, rifles, and a few tomahawks. The museum did not have my children complaining of yet another fort and when I saw a deer in the parking lot, I did not pll over for a picture.
July 17, 2010
Growing Ivy, Harvard
One could argue about whether or not it is true, or about how it may vary depending on the program, but there is no denying that the vast majority of American’s, if asked what is the country’s top college, they will answer “Harvard”.
What is not debatable is that this is in fact America’s oldest institution of learning, est. 1636. The University is responsible for having educated our current President, our second President, our coolest president (Teddy), the signer of our most clichéd signature, and has had over 19 Nobel prize winners and 15 Pulitzer winners as faculty.
The school gave us Emerson, Thoreau, Cummings, Du Bois, Bernstein, Yo Yo Ma, Conan O’Brian, and Good Will Hunting.
The word Harvard drips of smarts and prestige. The place Harvard does the same. Its list of firsts and bests is deep, as is its endowment. It is visited by scholars, dignitaries, and an unusual amount of tourists. It is a punchline, a resume headline, and the object of both awe and resentment.

The John Harvard statue is not actualy a likeness of John Harvard, and John while a namesake, was not the founder.
Of all its accomplishments, of all its firsts, perhaps its finest (maybe you can guess where I’m headed here), is that it built the world’s first concrete football stadium. This school’s early dedication to this divinely inspired game not only provided a nice place to watch the game, but was a prime influence in the creation of the game itself. Once upon a time those who make rules wanted to spread the game out and make the field wider. Harvard’s field could not be widened, so the powers that be scrapped that idea and in stead instituted the forward pass.
July 12, 2010
Around Town, Storming the Bastille
The crowds gathered about the historic Eastern State Penitentiary, a ghost of Quaker experiments in criminal reform, and waved tri colored flags in the blistering heat. As the party was carrying on, Marie Antoinette began mocking us from her perch above.
Now Philadelphians are a thick-skinned bunch, but when the Queen’s legion joined her on the walls with vuvuzelas, we had had enough. While storming the place we heard the Queen yell aloud, “Let them eat cake!”
A hand-held, point and shoot camera, does no justice to the rain of cake that fell upon the crowds that day.
Perhaps I can best describe the pelting by re-telling how my two year old daughter, perched on my shoulders, reached out her hand and snatched a Twinkie from the air.
With our hunger satisfied but with blood boiling from a rush of sugar, the fancy French lady, champagne in hand, was led merrily to the guillotine.
Maybe we were merciful, maybe her case was caught up in red tape… or maybe the City of Brotherly Love is just a little sick, but the Queen’s sentence was changed at the last minute. Mercy? No. A fate worse than death. At the last minute Antoinette was traded to the Washington Redskins.
Viva La E-A-G-L-E-S!
July 7, 2010
Around Town, 4th of July
Philadelphia is a fine place to spend the fourth. Fireworks, the Liberty Bell, the Constitution Center (complete with a copy of the Constitution), and first class fireworks after a free concert. If that is what you desire, you will be happy. If that is all you get, you have missed the best part, you have missed what makes America great, you have missed ICE CREAM!
Every year Philadelphia’s Penn’s Landing waterfront hosts the Ice Cream Festival. A young man named Joshua Kahan got Leukemia and did not recover. His family set up a fund to aid in pediatric Leukemia research, and in true Philly spirit began a yearly fund raiser featuring the best cure for all human ailments.
$5 at the door of the tent gets you a spoon, dropping your shoulder and fighting through the crowd gets you all the ice cream you can eat. Haagen Dazs, Edy’s, Ben & Jerry’s, Minute Made, Turkey Hill, all were there, happily handing out third and fourth helpings.
If you are not from the area, come prepared to fall in love and miss your departing flight. If you are not from the area, come prepared to learn about water ice.
The first thing you need to know about water ice is that is pronounced “wuuter-ice”. The second thing you need to know is that it is not quite Italian Ice, not really watery, not really icey, but completely wonderful. It usually comes in the flavors, lemon, cherry, mango, or blue. On the fourth of July they serve all, save the mango, in one cup and it tastes just like the bomb-pops we used to get from the ice-cream truck.
Philadelphia sits at the axis of the world’s yin and yang. If you go one direction you will quickly find yourself in New York City, if you go the other, you find the Amish.
Thanks to this proximity I never have to explain to my neighbors that Mormon’s can in fact drive cars. I have not enjoyed this luxury in other places. Also thanks to this proximity one can escape the city for a cookout with friends. We spent our afternoon with the Knickerbockers.
Yes, their name is Knickerbocker but not to worry, we affectionately call them the Huckle-bucks and they love it. They are those kind of people, you call them whatever you like and they cook you dinner.
Another fine feature of the Hucklesons is their rent-a-grandparent program. If you have no blood related, grey haired, folks around to tell tall tales, they will provide one for you. I think we captured them amid a tale of agrarian Colonial capitalism in the 18th century American South.
Hope you had a happy 4th!
July 3, 2010
Growing Ivy, Brown
One of the finer results of travel is unintentional learning. One would think that in touring our country’s historical institutions of education, one would expect to learn a thing or two, but it’s that third thing you learn that comes as a surprise. The answers to questions you never knew to ask are the ones that stick with you.
Question like, who is this Roman looking guy on the horse, and why did I just realize now that Dartmouth had no statues?

Did this architect make an Ivy League tour, or is there a requirement for a building in this style to be built before an institution could be considered Ivy? Hmmm, the chicken or the egg?
And of course the obvious question as to what colonial era college does NOT have a building that boasts to at one time served as the headquarters for a revolutionary army?
On my many ventures, southern and otherwise, I have seen many 1st Baptist Churches. I have never, till now, actually seen THE first Baptist church. Turns out it’s in Providence, right down the hill from Brown.
Also down the hill from Brown is a row of houses, one of which is covered in relief carvings and contains the art studios of the Providence Art Club.
Letting gravity take its course, drawing me further down the hill, I the found the Euro Deli & Cafe. A quaint little shop filled with bookish looking patrons, this deli produces a treasure worth noting. Hot chocolate with a healthy dosage of cayenne pepper! This Aztec treat should clue historians in to why the Conquistadors really invaded Mexico. I had no need to rally troops and burn my ships, I only needed to hand the woman $1.50.
Perhaps Brown’s greatest acheivement was losing the Rose Bowl to Washington State in 1916. This game was the second time football had been played in California’s annual festival of the Roses, the first being a western embarassment at the hands of Michigan some years earlier, but was the first in what would become an annual tradition. Of course that tradition now rarely, if ever, includes Brown.
Waiting in line at the Brown Bookstore, I was looking at a portrait of that 1916 Brown team, and over on the left hand side was a brown player. Brown as in, very distinctly, an African-American. That was Fritz Pollard, the same man who would in 1922 become the NFL’s first black coach. Go Brown!
Ahhh the good old days of the gridiron. Old institutions putting forward young men to do battle. Men wore hats, sports writers were poetic, and a black man could run the ball. This brings us back to looking for answers we never knew to ask.
Mr. Pollard played in the Rose Bowl 54 years before USC’s famous game against Bama in 1970. Mr. Pollard was professionally coach Pollard more than 80 years before a man of his race coached in the superbowl.
Progress is often slow because progress sometimes goes backwards. It is the case with both individuals and societies that while time marches steadily ahead, people don’t steadily go the same direction.
I realized this at Brown.


















































































