The seasonal passing of time is hard to measure in perpetual summer. The leaves do not change, snow does not fall, and your wardrobe changes consist of a jacket in the evening. Everything is a perpetual now.
Before you know it time has passed and you’re wheels haven’t turned. You remain where you were. Or so you think. Or so it feels.
But time always passes. The kids get bigger, the knees start to ache, and the sun sets.
Quickly a new school year is starting and the grind you never took a break from is beginning its cycle all over again and you stare at that date as it bears down upon you relentlessly, mercilessly, unyielding. Time does not tire despite its continual aging.I have done my best to follow time’s path but have been unsuccessful in both body and mind. The body I get, the mind makes no sense. A friend and I have talked about the need to always have something to look forward to, a goal, a destination, maybe even a carrot of some sort. Destination gives purpose and fuels drive. It makes a difficult now- easier to endure.I have jogged out to this tree on several occasions. I suffer from inertia and have realized that outside forces like gravity and laziness are hard to counteract. I set my sights on this tree, this destination, to get me to go just a little further, to prevent me from deciding I have gone far enough and aborting my much needed exercise just a little too early. It works.
But jogging to that tree really isn’t much fun. It is really quite the opposite.
I am not that guy who enjoys exercise. Of course I feel better if I do it, but the process is worse than drudgery, it is hard work. So are most valuable things.
Valuable things. Like views of lonely trees, mountain paths, and time.
Jogging to that tree I most often kill the value of the journey. No. Not true.
I don’t kill it but rather I trade one value for another. I sacrifice the view from solitude and joyful journey with accomplishment and the potential of one day seeing my own belt buckle.So in talking with my friend about looking forward, I wonder about the missing of now. Sometimes now is pretty cool and now never comes around again.Now must be harnessed and loved. Now must be carpe’d and capitalized upon. There must be a tenuous balance between the enjoyment of the present wrapped around the driving toward tomorrowWhatever balance I achieve, zen-like or teetering, what I do know is that the new school year starts way too early around here and I need to carpe before I run out of diems.
2 thoughts on “My Summer in Review: seasons”
Someone said that people in California never go on vacation – that their lives ARE a vacation. I’m not sure if this is true but you seem to be making the most of your time there. (Smh @ the photos you post with your daughters though. They crack me up every time.)
K is as beautiful as a supermodel. Looks like Cali is treating you well. Miss you all.