Johns Hopkins

I spend my proffessional hours seeking out budding scientists. I provide for them information and opportunity regarding how they may employ their evil genius, or just genius, in the years to come.

This search takes me to the institutions of education and research that I call the bastion of the bowtie.

Johns Hopkins not only has bowties and scientists, but arches and clocktowers as well. So much so that when Hollywood decided to shoot a film about a budding interweb empire birthed at Harvard, they of course shot it at Johns Hopkins.

When I say I search for scientists I do not mean the armchair ethnographer like myself, I mean only those from the S.T.E.M. fields, ya know, smart people.

So far these associations have not rubbed off on me as was made clear when I arrived via train and was stumped in my search for my pre-reserved rental car. Turns out there are no such things as rental car locations in Baltimore, which now makes me smarter than Priceline, and I have also learned that arguing with cab drivers about why they won’t take a credit card when the sign says they will, will only get you stranded in an episode of the Wire.

I was supposed to be in the Big Bang Theory.


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