How to Start a Fight Online: In-N-Out

When in Rome dine as the Romans.

in n out

A foundational part of growing up in Utah is listening to newly arrived Californian’s complain about the lack of In-N-Out Burgers. It was exhibit #1 that Utah was a backwater and anyone moving there from the glamorous land of Fresno, or maybe San Bernardino, was indeed suffering some sort of cruel banishment.
I have till recently remained above the fray. Intentionally ignorant.
Like I said, till recently.

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The menu looked simple enough. I assumed this was the sort of place that only did a few things but did them very well. Free market specialization at its finest. Double double, fries, and chocolate shake for me, burgers for the kids. Done. Easy.

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Shortly after we ate, I posted the above picture on Facebook along with the question,” If this wasn’t my favorite thing in the world do they kick me out of California?”

And then the Archduke Ferdinand dropped dead.

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The Maginot line was crossed, France fell, and trenches were dug on both sides.
This online dustup was a digital version of some shirtless kid slapping a “Locals Only” sticker on my windshield ala 1987. It was much like my first weeks in Philly when my wife and I strolled into this pizza place, Tacinelli’s, that everyone said was the best. No one told us you have to call and order a day in advance and as a result we were treated poorly and given a burnt pie.
We never gave it a second try.

I’m a team player who learns from mistakes. I’m not one to place crippling sanctions on a defeated Germany giving rise to a moustached maniac. So in that spirit I pass along the unwritten rules, the insiders only, the key to the cool club; its called “animal style”.

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I have still yet to publish an actual opinion. But definitive statements have never been needed in online wars.

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6 Comments

Filed under places

6 responses to “How to Start a Fight Online: In-N-Out

  1. Once again, to someone such as yourself, who has a developed palette for fine food, In N’ Out is just not going to rise up to your standards. Now put it into price perspective and I think you’ll agree its far superior to say, MacDonald’s or Burger King. How did the girls like it?

  2. grayweim

    “And then the Archduke Ferdinand dropped dead.”..I laughed out loud when I read that. Well played.

  3. Uglyblackjohn

    Their reputation is everything and their name is deceptive. ‘In-N-Out’? Heck no.. Sometimes you’ll be IN one of those drive-thru lanes for what seems like an eternity. (Imagine what it was like when each store only had ONE lane.) One of the reasons they were so liked in the beginning was because one could get fresh ingredients and large patties at an affordable price.

  4. Uglyblackjohn

    BTW… How are you dealing with the Smog?

  5. Why bother with local fast food that is popular because of its “secret menu” and all things involving sexual innuendo when there is a real thing called “California Cuisine” that is actually delicious? Not to mention the Mexican food.
    (Also, if you are interested in fast food chains you will have to try Burgerville when (*not if) you come North.

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